Thursday, July 9, 2009

"Swept Out To Sea While Running"... or "Rio Shane"

O.K. So I am still not running because of this toe thing. I am not sure what to do, I have never had an injured toe before. I just got back from vacation in Puerto Vallarta, and I didn't even take my shoes with me. If I had, the following story would be strangely different...

We are all staying in a four bedroom timeshare on the beach, so when I got up from bed and went out to the living room for my morning coffee with tequila (hey! I am on vacation in Mexico. Don't judge!), Shane was already up as usual. "Yo Man, I want to go for a run on the beach" say's Shane. Shit, I really want to go as well, but I didn't bring my shoes for a reason. I want this thing to heal so I can continue training for my marathon.

Me: "Give me a second to finish my coffee and think about it".
Shane: "K"

Now I sit down on the lounge chair and look out over the beach at the beautiful ocean and start to enjoy my coffee. It really is a perfect morning. There was heavy rain last night, but the only reason you can tell at this point is that the mosaic stone decking around the pool 8 floors below is still wet. There is not a cloud in the sky, a beautiful morning for a run... I'm not going.

Me: "Shane, I'm not gonna go, I didn't bring my shoes for a reason. And as much as I would love to go running barefoot on the beach, I want my frikken toe to get better. I don't want to risk another three or four weeks with an effed up toe".

Shane: "All right, you stay here in the condo, while I go out for a run on the beach all by myself".
Me: "Go to hell. Have fun".

And Shane walked out the door barefooted with his Ipod strapped on, while I finished my drink (I mean coffee). A minute later Shane appeared from below and walked out past the pool and onto the beach. He took a left and started running down the sand along the gentle waves of the waters edge. As close to a dream moment for a runner as there comes. He disappeared behind the neighboring scyscraper, and I went on with my morning, and a second cup of coffee (yes, with tequila).

We start a game of cribbage and forget all about Shane for a little while. I was counting my crib as Shane walks in the front door of our unit, dripping from head to toe.

Shane: "Well. That was a nice swim".
Me: "Was it on purpose"?
Shane: "Not so Much."
Me: "What the hell did you do?"

Now you need to know Shane to really appreciate the rest of this story. Shane is pretty, and he is a good dancer. So when he tells a story, his whole body moves to try to help you understand what's going on. When he starts by telling us that he was just running along the beach, jamming out to the music on his Ipod, not having a care in the world, we are already laughing our asses of at the way he is exaggerating his arm swings and bobbing his head to the music. He is mimicking himself, running more like a dancer prancing across a stage.

Shane: "So I'm running along the beach, and it's frikken fantastic! The sand is hard along the water, so it was easy running, and it's the perfect temperature outside. I was running along, got about three quarters of a mile down the beach, and there was a washout from last nights rain in front of me. I looked up, there was a couple walking towards me from the wash, and there was another couple on the other side of it walking away from me. I just assumed that they had just walked across it."

"I took my first step in, and its about 6 inches deep. i took my second step in, and its about 6 inches deep. I took my third step in, and it's Shane deep." And as he says this, he holds his hand about six inched over his head, showing us the water was over his head. "it's like I was just shaken awake from a runners coma! I am under water, trying like hell to figure out what in the eff just happened as I'm trying to get myself to the surface so I can breath." I finally get my head above water, and "what the eff", I'm 20 feet out to sea, looking back at the beach, dog paddling in water way over my head!"

Me: "Holy Shi+, what did you do?"

Shane: "The first thing that goes through my head is Eff, my Ipod! But then I realized it was still playing music in my ear... and then...just like that the music stopped." And now he shows us his Ipod and ear buds hanging from his hand, knowing they are ruined.

Me: "Damn dude, are you o.k.?"

Shane: "All I was thinking was ""I wish Adam was here with me, because he either would have been ahead of me, and it would be his ass out here swimming off shore, or at least I wouldn't be out here alone!!!""

I was crying I was laughing so hard. I tell you., as he is describing the size of the washout "It was real small, It never entered my mind that it might be over my head". I was laying on the floor curled up in the fetal position sucking my thumb. This is some funny shi+. "The guy behind me had been keeping pace right along with me. When I came up for air, he was just continuing his run back the other way. He didn't even stick around to see if I was gonna come back to the surface". Now that is one cold hearted American tourist...

We let him finish the story, and have a good laugh at Shane's expense. We are good friends, so it's o.k. to laugh at each others misfortunes, when you end up alive. The next morning Jane and I went for a walk along the beach in the same direction Shane had run the day before. When we came to the edge of the "Washout" Shane had described, we both lost it laughing. In front of us was a full on river. I'm talking about a 30 to 40 foot across river with waves 2'-3' high, that was no more mistakable for a washout then seeing a California Redwood and thinking it was a toothpick.

Shane, even though sometimes I think you might be a god, your not Jesus. Not even you, or anyone else for that matter, are gonna run a cross a full size effing river! And we learned on our last vacation.....there are crocodiles in the rivers in Mexico!

I know I did not do this story justice. You may have to close your eyes and give it a try.....Still sorry my toe hurts but sure am glad I didn't go for that run.

No comments:

Post a Comment